Thanksgiving is past and the frenzy of the Holiday Season is upon us! Are you feeling the stress yet? Did you have a little tiff with your significant other, Mother in Law or children over Thanksgiving? Or you perhaps had a touching moment with a loved one, remembering again why they are dear to you?
Regardless of whether or not you experienced some or all of these things, I would like you to take stock of that experience as you move ahead into this season. I talked last week about finding something to be thankful for, and would like to encourage you to continue in that manner throughout the season. But in addition to that, we can get through the season much easier if we accept those around us for who they are.
I talked in the past about setting boundaries with friends and family. That will be necessary if you are going to hit January in stride. In addition, you will have to look past the faults of many and know why you want to share this season with them. Let go of expectations and love them for who they are. If you can do this, the anger, bitterness and frustration that often surfaces will be minimized. Don’t be surprised when your aunt is critical, your husband is dismissive or your children seem demanding. They are who they are. Set your boundaries and let the rest go!
In short, take control this holiday season:
- Set and keep your boundaries!
- Accept others for who they are!
- Let go of grievances and forgive!
If you have questions about the how’s or whys, let me know! Until then enjoy the holidays. After all, that’s your choice!
But what if they won’t agree to my boundaries?
Set it anyway. Others will avoid setting a boundary that addresses both of your needs because it creates mutual accountability. With mutual accountability all we are left with is accepting that we will, or will not choose to follow the rules!
In order to get someone on board with the boundaries, you may very well have to cause them just a bit of pain. It could be as simple as they have no clean underwear because you said if it was not in the hamper it wouldn’t get done. Or you didn’t make dinner because the dishes from yesterday remained in the sink.
- So here’s your call to action:
- Sit back and let the boundary play out.
- Don’t be surprised that the boundary is not followed.
- Stick to your guns!
- Stay calm and matter of fact, not judging the recipient of your boundary, rather enforcing the boundary.
- And get ready to repeat (and repeat, and repeat), “I’m sorry, was I not clear!”