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So after owning the reality of who we are, we grieve and come to a place of accepting what the reality of the past, present and future may be. We own the grit and the glitter, whatever it may be and we move on, but to what?  To reality- the reality that it was no accident that we became who we are and behave as we do. The reality that with every new day there are new choices, and the choices we make when triggered will be either reactions or responses. But the choices will no longer be made out of ignorance. We now know that to choose to reinforce the core belief will be choosing to seek immediate gratification, and accept that what we want will elude us as a result.

You may have to go back to the prior two articles and review if you are confused, but here is the long and short of it.  I can be triggered and react out of emotion in an attempt to protect myself, but the very thing I am trying to hide becomes even more evident.  If I don’t own the reality and grieve the loss of who I want to be, I will never move toward becoming who I want to be. Owning who I am is no longer an issue because in consistently responding I have grown more aware of what I am capable of despite myself, and nothing makes me feel stronger than that.

Initially, responding requires self-examination at every turn. Clients ask me how I can expect them to do this every minute of every day. I tell them not to underestimate the human mind. Processing takes merely seconds. Our brains process information like a computer. If the information is cached, recalling it takes only seconds. That being the case, one can go through thoughts that if spoken aloud might take several seconds and process them in a split second. The issue then is not how much time it will take to process, rather if one will choose to do so.  The more self-aware we become, and the more insight we gain about ourselves, the easier this process becomes.  Insight reinforces the adage “Knowledge is Power”.  What we know can change our lives.

Responding then requires self-examination at every turn. Clients ask me how I can expect them to do this every minute of every day. I tell them not to underestimate the human mind. Processing takes merely seconds. Our brains process information like a computer. If the information is cached, recalling it takes only seconds. That being the case, one can go through thoughts that if spoken aloud might take several seconds and process them in a split second. The issue then is not how much time it will take to process, rather if one will choose to do so.  The more self-aware we become, and the more insight we gain about ourselves, the easier this process becomes.  Insight reinforces the adage “Knowledge is Power”.  What we know can change our lives.

• We must identify the threat. What was the trigger for the internal chaos that has begun?
• What is it that we are hiding from others or ourselves as a result?
• Now that you have acknowledged what you feel, go to your head and acknowledge what you know!  (Healthy behaviors, successes, behaviors with positive outcomes, etc.)

For more detailed information, go to relaxitsjustlife.com.  For information regarding therapeutic services, book purchases and seminars contact Warren at matson.warren@gmail.com.

Peace,

Warren