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You want me to change WHAT?
change (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)
Have you ever been at one of those crossroads in life where you know you need to change, but that thought is paralyzing? You ask the Universe why, oh why, now? Haven’t I grown enough? When I was getting sober, clearly change was necessary. So I innocently asked, “you want me to change what?” I was told “EVERYTHING”. I’m sorry, huh?? You want me to change WHAT? EVERYTHING. It seemed impossible. It wasn’t.
I am here again, but this time it is not my drinking, it’s my thinking. I am at that place where I have to change EVERYTHING. If someone told you that you had to change most everything about your thinking, but in exchange, you would find inner peace, would you do it? Would you even be willing to give it a try? My spiritual quest has brought me to this crossroad. I am told that I can have the deep, inner peace I so desperately desire. In exchange, I have to change EVERYTHING. Damn.
The spiritual teachers lay out a very specific path to this sanctuary. You have to see everyone as divine love, one of God’s children, perceive only their good because their bad doesn’t exist. Yep. That means the guy that cut you off and took your parking space. Divine Love. The woman at work who refuses to lift one finger to help you. One of God’s children. The person who left the dog crap on the sidewalk and walks away pretending it wasn’t their dog crap. Only good. So are you ready to change your thinking? Are you ready to change everything? How do you feel about hard work? I mean really hard work.
This is the second time in my life that I am willing to go to any length to get “it”. So, as soon as the human, I am so far from divine it’s actually scary, thought pops into my head, I consciously repeat the changed thought. The thought that will bring me inner peace. The divine truth that everyone and everything is love. Currently about 1 out of every 5 of my thoughts need re-working. So I am spending much of every day changing my thoughts. Am I mentally exhausted? Absolutely! The question comes back to how bad do you want anything?
I was exhausted during my entire first year of sobriety, but I didn’t want to die. I was worn down at the halfway point of my 3 ½ year weight loss journey, but I didn’t want to stop before I was healthy. At mile 9 of the half marathon I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to make it, at mile 12 it was definite, but I didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want to give up before the miracle happened.
So today Lipstick-Chatters I ask you, are in search of inner peace? Do you believe it will take a complete overhaul of your thinking? What are some of the techniques you currently use to find inner peace? Do you have tips for seeing only the good in someone?
The temptation to quit will be the greatest right before you are about to succeed. I won’t quit if you won’t girlies!
Fee
BTW – I am told this gets much easier with practice and it can actually become your real thinking. I am going to be one helluva a test case!
AUNT MAUREEN’S KITCHEN DOOR
As with all family holidays, amid the cocktails and fine food, some spirited conversation always takes place. Someone always gets their Irish up. It is followed by laughter and love, but the lively conversation always allows us to see and appreciate our uniqueness. This year’s conversation revolved around integrity. From the pre and post collapse of Wall Street, to the local music festival, to Capital Hill, to the proper party attire and attendance, it all boiled down to either doing the right thing, or the wrong thing. Could it be as simple as each person always doing the next right thing?
When Aunt Maureen’s grandkids run in the back door into her kitchen she briefly stops them and gently reminds them what they already know. No matter what age they are, they already know what is right and wrong. Just do the right thing, and all is well. Simple. The kids go about their business and she never has to get involved, as long as everybody is doing what they already know, the right thing.
What would the world look like if we all just did the right thing? Even if someone wrongs us, what if we responded with the next right thing? What if all those wonderful people on Capital Hill actually made a decision based on what is right, rather than who put the money in the pocket? What if just one of them did the next right thing? Could it cause a chain reaction? Ahh….. we can dream.
Just for today, I am going to pretend that I just walked through Aunt Maureen’s kitchen door. I know what is right and wrong. I have been taught by the best. I will commit to doing the next right thing. I will play in the world like I play in her house, conscious of the right thing.
As I walked out of Aunt Maureen’s door at 4 AM yesterday to make the long drive home, an inner peace flooded over me. It’s the kind of peace that wraps around you, holds you and warms you. The inner peace you get from realizing that you knew this all along, because that is what you were taught by the people you love & admire.
And to the influential teachers and way show-ers, may you find joy and peace in knowing that we actually listened.
Síochána & Paidreacha (peace & prayers),
Fee
