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Over a dog?
Photo credit: State Library of New South Wales collection
I arrived at Flowers this morning and knew from the look on her face that she thought it was time. Flower is my 100-year-old aunt, and Gina is her little dog that has been on death’s door for weeks. She has gotten skinnier and quieter by the week. Finally today she couldn’t walk. I knew Flower wanted me to tell her what to do, because it was a different look than last week when I knew she knew what to do but wasn’t ready. So I called the Vet and we sat and cried together as her faithful companion fell asleep for the last time.
“Do you think Frisky was waiting for her?” I blubbered, wiping snot from my nose with my sleeve. Before she answered she reached over to grab me a tissue and gave me a look like “Why would you use your sleeve when the tissues are right here!” Then she wiped the tears, looked at me with her sad eyes and said, “I hope so.”
We took Gina home. Of course it began to drizzle as I went in back to dig the hole. “No!” she said. “It can wait!” I carried the poor dog into the vet. It already smelled so there was no way it was staying in the house any longer then it had to. “You sit with her Auntie. I will go get her spot ready next to Frisky.” So I dug and we put her to rest next to her friend Frisky who passed last year.
We sat drinking tea quietly. “Do you still miss Sarge?” she asked. He was my dog, my protector and my friend. I teared up, and than she teared up as I replied. “I miss him more than I thought I ever would.” I contemplated my response. I thought of Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets. “Over a dog!” he said. Then it occurred to me. “Auntie, I think I know why dogs might be harder to lose then people.” She immediately asked why. “Because most dogs aren’t mean. I think it’s that simple.” She nodded in agreement. “No, most dogs aren’t mean,” she responded. A thought popped into my head and I began laughing. “What is it?” she asked. I gathered myself and shared my epiphany. “They can’t talk!” I said still laughing. “If they could we might be thinking of all of the things they said to piss us off rather than about how they were so loyal and loving and protective. Maybe that’s the ticket. I should quit looking for that someone to share my life with and move on to that something, namely a dog!”
We both laughed and cried over that realization, but the truth in it is sobering. A dog is loyal and even if they are not happy with us, the words that might be uttered are not. And I can’t help but think. Would I have left the person I loved had words not been spoken? Have I driven others away with mine?
Maybe we need to take a cue from the canine community? Maybe we need to learn from man’s best friend!
Peace,
Warren
“Delicious Ambiguity” ~ Gilda Radner
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity. ~Gilda Radner
Today I wanted to talk about ambiguity and how uncomfortable it can be at times. I, for one, would like to know that my life is laid out at least a teensy-weensy bit. But there are constant reminders that it just ain’t so.
This week a work friend lost her husband. They were all packed up, ready to retire and hit the road in June, but within a month of being diagnosed with cancer her husband passed away. We were all so excited for her and now everything’s changed.
Sometimes it’s hard to accept that life throws such devastating curve balls. But I have learned that while the world is confusing and complicated, it is equally wondrous and beautiful.
How do you handle ambiguity? What deliciously ambiguous situations have you been thrown into? I would love to hear from you!
Love to you all,
Becky
