Speaking of Jennifer Aniston…
It seems that Jennifer Aniston has finally found her happily ever after, and I must say, I’m more than just a little bit relieved.
Over the decades, I’ve followed her love life with morbid curiosity. I’ve watched as she’s fallen madly in love and been dumped by some of the world’s most eligible bachelors, very publicly and very unceremoniously.
I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit wondering why- the incredible legs, the hair, the perfectly sculpted nose, the fabulous career, and the golden skin. To boot, the press describes her as the definitive girl next door, although I’ve never had a neighbor quite that successful or attractive, THANK GOD.
And despite all these pluses, she can’t keep a man to save her life. Pitt, the most memorable of dumpers, tired of her in short order. Then he ran around telling the press how boring she was whilst romping around on the big screen with Jolie well before papers were even served. Ouch.
And speaking of Jolie, how on earth do you compete with her? The babies, the making out with the brother thing, the tats, the vials of blood, the oozing sex appeal- I shudder to think.
If Aniston can’t keep a man, who am I to think I can do any better? And talking about her is much easier than talking about the real elephant in the room- VULNERABILITY.
I don’t like to watch Aniston get dumped because it makes me feel vulnerable. And I don’t like to feel vulnerable. It’s icky.
But absolutely necessary. Brene Brown, a social worker and leading researcher of human connection and vulnerability, believes that we are hard-wired to seek connection and that an inability to do so is at the heart of dysfunction. To have meaningful connections, we must develop a strong sense of self-worth rooted in the ability to be vulnerable. Ugh.
Quite simply, those who have a keen sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of it, period. This psychic sufficiency allows the courage to be imperfect and therefore completely authentic. And being authentic is the only way to build meaningful connections.
These genuine and courageous folks have a unique way of looking at vulnerability. They approach it with complete neutrality, neither good nor bad, but as essential as breathing air. They make the first move, take risks, and ask for help because they understand that vulnerability is vital to developing strong relationships.
I’ve had my moments. I was courageous and true when it came to pursuing a relationship with my husband, knowing intuitively that he was the one for me. I took a risk and asked Kathleen to start a blog with me understanding somehow that she and I would fit perfectly.
But then I have days when I feel like I just can’t take another risk, open myself up to hurt, and I sit and wonder where all the courage ran off to.
And that’s when I’m most grateful to be surrounded by people who remind me that I can be scared and courageous at the same time and that’s okay. That’s who I am. And being honest about it will strengthen those connections.
Thanks for your support- it’s an honor to share this space with you!
Here’s Brene Brown’s TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability. Well worth the 20 minutes and 20 seconds!
Posted on February 19, 2013, in Relationships & Family and tagged Angelina Jolie, Brene Brown, Jennifer Aniston, relationships, self worth, Self-esteem, ted.com, Vulnerability. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.