I Will Survive!

..and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along!

I Will Survive (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are not many women who don’t know all of the lyrics to that song.  Most of us can remember a time in a bar when it came on and we all danced and sang along.  Now, after the holidays I sit and listen to clients lament the gatherings and the goal is to get them to the line I like the most, “Did you think I’d crumble?  Did you think I’d lay down and die? “

My goal for them is to finish that line, “Oh no not I!”  Why?  Because I Will Survive is about owning the truth.  I have talked a lot about that in past months.  What I like about the holidays is that it puts the truth right smack in front of us.  The good, the bad, and the ugly!  And it is our choice what we do with those experiences.

I went into the holidays with more than a little apprehension.  This was the first Christmas that I have been alone in 30 years.  I talked in the past about understanding the difference between being single and being alone.  Well, I was able to own the reality of my situation; however it was difficult not to fall into a victim stance.  That is the poor me mode many of us go into when we are in a situation we do not like.  I tell clients almost daily, being victimized may not be a choice, but acting like a victim is!

In keeping with my commitment to practice what I preach, I looked at what I did and did not have control over and took action.  I sent out invites to a Christmas open house thinking a few of my close friends might show up, but being realistic about the reality of life.  People are busy during the holidays.  The gathering was the day before Christmas Eve and many would be traveling.

By the end of the evening, over 30 people stopped by.  I know I am loved and appreciated by many, but knowing is one thing and seeing it displayed is another.  I went to bed that night feeling anything but alone!  And had I not taken control and pushed I would not have felt that love first hand!  I slept well that night, and it wasn’t the French Martini’s!

As you move into the New Year, and away from this holiday season keep these things in mind:

• Own the reality of your life and relationships
• Don’t act like a victim and take control
• Reach out to those who love you by demonstrating love to them
• Last, Listen to Gloria Gaynor sing “I Will Survive” from time to time

Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to love
I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive

Happy New Year!

Warren